(From the Janesville Messenger, 11-4-07)
At the dry cleaners the other day, I was parked next to a pickup truck, one of those huge beasts that dwarfs all the other vehicles around it.
What I found astonishing, however, was not the pure size of this vehicle, but the message that was plastered on the cab’s back window for all followers to read. It was a parody of the “Harley-Davidson Motor Cycles” logo that said “Highly Dangerous Mother (expletive).” You can easily guess what the expletive was.
My first thought was to wonder if this vehicle gets driven to church, or to elementary school to pick up a first grader. My second thought was to wonder when obscenity laws were changed so that anyone could publicly display the F-word in letters larger than license plate numerals.
So whatever happened to dignity in America? Or class?
I realize that I’m going to make myself look like a prude or a snob in writing this column. Those who know me know I am anything but. I believe that off-color jokes or R-rated humor have a time and a place. The back of a vehicle driven on public roads isn’t one of them.
I’m glad my kids are older now, so I don’t have to explain to a 7-year-old what “Eats Chevys, S---ts Dodges” means. Or why Calvin from “Calvin and Hobbes” is urinating on a Bears helmet. Or why that’s the most profound thought some people can express.
Subtlety is a lost art. Coarseness rules. We’re so insistent on making whatever our point is, that we feel we need to slap someone across the face with it.
Rewinding back to my comment about going to church, it appears even church isn’t immune from inappropriate public sentiments. I went with my family to the Holy Hill Shrine near Hubertus recently, on a gorgeous day in which the fall colors made this beautiful place look even more amazing. The grounds were packed with people, most of whom showed the proper respect for a religious area. But not everyone was with the program, like the pair of women who looked like they were dressed for their next shift at the Sugar Shack. Then there was the young man wearing a shirt advertising Trojan condoms. Ironically, he was wearing this at a Catholic shrine. I also saw a guy in church wearing a Michael Vick jersey. I don’t think he was there to pray for Vick’s redemption.
Maybe people just don’t realize what’s appropriate and what’s not anymore. The definition of obscenity has been erased. The mass media has undeniably had a lot of influence in that respect.
When cable television first started airing edgier fare, it was no big deal. Like going to an R movie, you paid for the privilege. But now, tired of losing audience, free television and radio have decided to “catch up.” I always watched “NYPD Blue” but had to make sure my kids weren’t still awake at 9:55 because you could always count on the last scene involving entangled naked bodies. And just try to find a comedy where the jokes aren’t sexual in nature. The thinking seems to be, if it’s not dirty, it’s not funny. Ironically, you now have to get cable just to find programming that your children can watch.
In 1961, FCC chairman Newton Minow derided television as a “vast wasteland.” If he thought that then, what must he think now?
The biggest problem is that Hollywood doesn’t think anyone will watch a show that doesn’t have shock value, whether it’s in the humor or the violence. And it’s a shame.
When John Ratzenberger (who played Cliff on the classic comedy “Cheers”) appeared at the Greater Beloit Chamber of Commerce dinner earlier this year, I had an opportunity to speak with him about what has happened to television since that show went off the air. Ratzenberger made a very insightful comment. He said that today’s shows are being written by the first generation of writers brought up on television, not on literature. It made sense; inbreeding yields disastrous results.
All one can hope is that the pendulum will swing back at some point, and America will regain some dignity. Until then, the top story on your network newscasts will continue to be the latest Britney Spears sighting.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I Was A Teenage Rock Painter
(From the Janesville Messenger, 10-21-07)
Milton High School, like many high schools, has a large rock in front of its building. This rock, “The Rock,” has for many years been a canvas for legalized graffiti. So it’s something akin to a rite of passage for an MHS student to paint The Rock.
Of course, back in 1976-80 when I attended MHS, I painted The Rock a few times. But in attempts to be more creative, my high school friends and I tried to do more than just boringly paint our class year on it.
Once, we actually tried to bury The Rock. Late one night, several of us went there with shovels and dug a hole next to The Rock. Our plan was to dig the hole, roll The Rock into the hole, cover it with dirt and then place a cross next to it. About a foot into the dig, we hit concrete. You see, The Rock is on a patch of grass in the MHS parking lot. Apparently, pavement was poured underneath and then the dirt was added. Undeterred, we rolled The Rock into the hole anyway, tried to cover it with the dirt we dug up and placed the cross next to it. The reaction from students Monday morning? A collective yawn. The Rock basically looked somewhat dirty and nobody knew what the cross meant. The change in The Rock’s height was hardly noticeable, even to those of us who had done the deed. But at least we proudly came away from our caper with a blurry photograph – which still exists – of the group posing with shovels in front of The Rock. Hopefully, the statute of limitations on destruction of public property has passed.
When burying The Rock didn’t quite have the shock value we desired, we hatched another plan – burning it. So again, under cover of darkness, a group of us went to The Rock, poured gasoline on it and ignited it. If anyone ever needs a prime example of how teenagers’ minds do not function properly, this is it. Fortunately, none of us got burned in this caper, which would have definitely qualified us for a Darwin Award for getting injured in an incredibly stupid manner. It’s almost comical to remember how we lit the match, tossed it on The Rock, and ran like crazed lunatics in every direction. In the end, however, The Rock burned for less than 30 seconds and unless you really looked for a scorch mark, no one on Monday morning could tell the difference.
So now with a daughter attending Milton High School, The Rock entered our dinnertime conversation. I had joked a few times with an old high school friend that we should go up and paint “Class of 80” on The Rock sometime, just for a lark. Well, the other three members of my family thought that was a great idea for us to do that evening.
Somehow, I had never envisioned painting The Rock as a family activity. But on the evening of October 6, it was just that. The plan was to spray a base coat of black on both sides of The Rock, and then paint my class number on the side facing High Street and my daughter’s facing the school. Well, according to plan, it was a typical Lyke family activity. My son was mad because the spray paint he had wouldn’t work. Both kids bickered about getting in each other’s way. And my daughter was unhappy that the flashlights didn’t provide enough light for her to see when she was attempting to paint her class number on her side. It certainly wasn’t like the old days.
As we were finishing up, a trio of students – including one wearing a Craig High School shirt – arrived to check out what we were doing. I certainly got the impression that they wanted to undo our handiwork later that night. I encouraged them to at least give it a day. When they saw my orange-on-black “Class of 80” proudly displayed, one boy revealed himself not to be an A student in math.
“Wow, that’s like 28 years ago,” he calculated. “What are you, dude, 46?”
Well, at least he can add 18 and 28.
Regardless, I was extremely pleased to drive by The Rock the following day and see “Class of 80” still proudly displayed for all to see. Unfortunately, the choice of colors on my daughter’s side of The Rock didn’t turn out so well, but she’s got until 2010 to take another shot at it.
As for me, maybe I’ll just wait another 27 years and see how I feel about it.
Milton High School, like many high schools, has a large rock in front of its building. This rock, “The Rock,” has for many years been a canvas for legalized graffiti. So it’s something akin to a rite of passage for an MHS student to paint The Rock.
Of course, back in 1976-80 when I attended MHS, I painted The Rock a few times. But in attempts to be more creative, my high school friends and I tried to do more than just boringly paint our class year on it.
Once, we actually tried to bury The Rock. Late one night, several of us went there with shovels and dug a hole next to The Rock. Our plan was to dig the hole, roll The Rock into the hole, cover it with dirt and then place a cross next to it. About a foot into the dig, we hit concrete. You see, The Rock is on a patch of grass in the MHS parking lot. Apparently, pavement was poured underneath and then the dirt was added. Undeterred, we rolled The Rock into the hole anyway, tried to cover it with the dirt we dug up and placed the cross next to it. The reaction from students Monday morning? A collective yawn. The Rock basically looked somewhat dirty and nobody knew what the cross meant. The change in The Rock’s height was hardly noticeable, even to those of us who had done the deed. But at least we proudly came away from our caper with a blurry photograph – which still exists – of the group posing with shovels in front of The Rock. Hopefully, the statute of limitations on destruction of public property has passed.
When burying The Rock didn’t quite have the shock value we desired, we hatched another plan – burning it. So again, under cover of darkness, a group of us went to The Rock, poured gasoline on it and ignited it. If anyone ever needs a prime example of how teenagers’ minds do not function properly, this is it. Fortunately, none of us got burned in this caper, which would have definitely qualified us for a Darwin Award for getting injured in an incredibly stupid manner. It’s almost comical to remember how we lit the match, tossed it on The Rock, and ran like crazed lunatics in every direction. In the end, however, The Rock burned for less than 30 seconds and unless you really looked for a scorch mark, no one on Monday morning could tell the difference.
So now with a daughter attending Milton High School, The Rock entered our dinnertime conversation. I had joked a few times with an old high school friend that we should go up and paint “Class of 80” on The Rock sometime, just for a lark. Well, the other three members of my family thought that was a great idea for us to do that evening.
Somehow, I had never envisioned painting The Rock as a family activity. But on the evening of October 6, it was just that. The plan was to spray a base coat of black on both sides of The Rock, and then paint my class number on the side facing High Street and my daughter’s facing the school. Well, according to plan, it was a typical Lyke family activity. My son was mad because the spray paint he had wouldn’t work. Both kids bickered about getting in each other’s way. And my daughter was unhappy that the flashlights didn’t provide enough light for her to see when she was attempting to paint her class number on her side. It certainly wasn’t like the old days.
As we were finishing up, a trio of students – including one wearing a Craig High School shirt – arrived to check out what we were doing. I certainly got the impression that they wanted to undo our handiwork later that night. I encouraged them to at least give it a day. When they saw my orange-on-black “Class of 80” proudly displayed, one boy revealed himself not to be an A student in math.
“Wow, that’s like 28 years ago,” he calculated. “What are you, dude, 46?”
Well, at least he can add 18 and 28.
Regardless, I was extremely pleased to drive by The Rock the following day and see “Class of 80” still proudly displayed for all to see. Unfortunately, the choice of colors on my daughter’s side of The Rock didn’t turn out so well, but she’s got until 2010 to take another shot at it.
As for me, maybe I’ll just wait another 27 years and see how I feel about it.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Don't Believe Everything You Read
(From the Janesville Messenger, 10-7-07)
During the week of September 11, I received a patriotic and much-forwarded e-mail entitled “Twin Towers.” It featured a pre-attack photo of the World Trade Center and an excerpt from Oliver North’s testimony in front of a Senate committee during the 1987 Iran-Contra hearings.
What does Oliver North have to do with the 9-11 attacks? Well, in this excerpt, North was questioned about a $60,000 home security system he had purchased. North responded that he was in fear of his life because a terrorist had threatened him and his family. He claimed this terrorist was the most evil man alive and he recommended the U.S. form a team of assassins to kill him. The terrorist’s name was Osama bin Laden. The Senator questioning him, who scoffed at North’s suggestion, was Al Gore.
It’s an interesting little excerpt. It would be even more interesting if any of it were true.
This is just the latest example of people believing anything they read in an e-mail, and then forwarding it to all of their friends. For people with an agenda – like the original author of this e-mail obviously had – the Internet must be a Godsend. Gossipers and rumormongers can now share with the entire world, not just their immediate circle of acquaintances.
If you have e-mail, you have likely received one or more of the following totally false chain e-mails:
· Forward this e-mail to 10 people, and Miller will send you free beer (or Microsoft will send you money).
· Unsuspecting travelers are being drugged and waking up in a bathtub full of ice with their kidneys removed.
· Dr. Pepper (or Pepsi) is printing the Pledge of Allegiance on their soda cans without the line “under God.”
· Don’t dial a certain area code, or thousands of dollars of charges will show up on your phone bill.
These e-mails are getting more and more annoying, although the kidney one inspired a very funny cartoon on YouTube called “Charlie The Unicorn.” But all of these frivolous e-mails could have been easily debunked by going to a website called Snopes.com. The site is devoted to tracking down Internet rumors and declaring them true or false.
A five-minute trip to Snopes revealed that the North story was flat-out bunk. In fact, North himself drafted a letter setting the record straight, once this e-mail started making the rounds and he started getting asked about it. It turns out that North never mentioned Osama bin Laden during his testimony, and Al Gore wasn’t even part of this Senate committee. North did mention an evil terrorist during his testimony, however. It was the Palestinian guerilla Abu Nidal, whom North offered to meet man-to-man on equal terms. So at least that gives a basis for how this Oliver Twisted story got started.
Even chain e-mails that are not mean-spirited or politically motivated suffer credibility issues. I’ve had the same group of jokes e-mailed to me several times, variously attributed to George Carlin, Steven Wright and Rodney Dangerfield. A friend recently sent me a very funny statement by British comedian John Cleese declaring America’s independence from Britain revoked. Just out of curiosity, I looked it up on Snopes. Did Cleese really write it? Nope.
It’s almost like a line from comedian Bob Saget’s old routine. He would say something ridiculous, then claim it was true by saying, “No, really. I read that. I wrote it down, and I read it.”
So now whenever I get one of these false e-mails that has been forwarded to a group of people, I reply to the whole group and include the link to Snopes.com that proves it false. This probably has embarrassed more than a few people, and hopefully, removed me from some group e-mail lists. But I consider it my duty to set things straight, so I am forming a group to try to stamp out these goofy e-mail forwards once and for all.
It’s called the National Educational Council for Truth In E-mail (NEC-TIE). Our slogan: “Choking on chain e-mail? Join NEC-TIE!”
Look us up on Snopes.
During the week of September 11, I received a patriotic and much-forwarded e-mail entitled “Twin Towers.” It featured a pre-attack photo of the World Trade Center and an excerpt from Oliver North’s testimony in front of a Senate committee during the 1987 Iran-Contra hearings.
What does Oliver North have to do with the 9-11 attacks? Well, in this excerpt, North was questioned about a $60,000 home security system he had purchased. North responded that he was in fear of his life because a terrorist had threatened him and his family. He claimed this terrorist was the most evil man alive and he recommended the U.S. form a team of assassins to kill him. The terrorist’s name was Osama bin Laden. The Senator questioning him, who scoffed at North’s suggestion, was Al Gore.
It’s an interesting little excerpt. It would be even more interesting if any of it were true.
This is just the latest example of people believing anything they read in an e-mail, and then forwarding it to all of their friends. For people with an agenda – like the original author of this e-mail obviously had – the Internet must be a Godsend. Gossipers and rumormongers can now share with the entire world, not just their immediate circle of acquaintances.
If you have e-mail, you have likely received one or more of the following totally false chain e-mails:
· Forward this e-mail to 10 people, and Miller will send you free beer (or Microsoft will send you money).
· Unsuspecting travelers are being drugged and waking up in a bathtub full of ice with their kidneys removed.
· Dr. Pepper (or Pepsi) is printing the Pledge of Allegiance on their soda cans without the line “under God.”
· Don’t dial a certain area code, or thousands of dollars of charges will show up on your phone bill.
These e-mails are getting more and more annoying, although the kidney one inspired a very funny cartoon on YouTube called “Charlie The Unicorn.” But all of these frivolous e-mails could have been easily debunked by going to a website called Snopes.com. The site is devoted to tracking down Internet rumors and declaring them true or false.
A five-minute trip to Snopes revealed that the North story was flat-out bunk. In fact, North himself drafted a letter setting the record straight, once this e-mail started making the rounds and he started getting asked about it. It turns out that North never mentioned Osama bin Laden during his testimony, and Al Gore wasn’t even part of this Senate committee. North did mention an evil terrorist during his testimony, however. It was the Palestinian guerilla Abu Nidal, whom North offered to meet man-to-man on equal terms. So at least that gives a basis for how this Oliver Twisted story got started.
Even chain e-mails that are not mean-spirited or politically motivated suffer credibility issues. I’ve had the same group of jokes e-mailed to me several times, variously attributed to George Carlin, Steven Wright and Rodney Dangerfield. A friend recently sent me a very funny statement by British comedian John Cleese declaring America’s independence from Britain revoked. Just out of curiosity, I looked it up on Snopes. Did Cleese really write it? Nope.
It’s almost like a line from comedian Bob Saget’s old routine. He would say something ridiculous, then claim it was true by saying, “No, really. I read that. I wrote it down, and I read it.”
So now whenever I get one of these false e-mails that has been forwarded to a group of people, I reply to the whole group and include the link to Snopes.com that proves it false. This probably has embarrassed more than a few people, and hopefully, removed me from some group e-mail lists. But I consider it my duty to set things straight, so I am forming a group to try to stamp out these goofy e-mail forwards once and for all.
It’s called the National Educational Council for Truth In E-mail (NEC-TIE). Our slogan: “Choking on chain e-mail? Join NEC-TIE!”
Look us up on Snopes.
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