The Voodoo You Do For Your Team

(Published in the Janesville Messenger, 10-20-13)

You're watching an NFL game on television, and there is a break in the action for commercials. You hear the opening notes of Stevie Wonder's “Superstition.” You see Bud Light advertise beer by poking fun at diehard fans and the Game Day rituals that they believe, through some sort of karma, magically help their favorite team's performance. It's an amusing campaign that has stayed alive simply because there is an element of truth to it. And Bud Light's message is simple: drink our beer to help your team win.

And that hypothesis is no more preposterous than, say, wearing your lucky jersey or sitting in the same spot you occupied the last time your team scored an important victory. I admit, I have done that. And when I think logically about it, I know it's absolutely ridiculous or worse yet, unbecoming a Christian. But I am not deluded enough to actually believe that my actions or clothing or choice of seat contribute to a Packers victory or loss.

But you would be surprised how many actually do. Bud Light did an online survey of fans' Game Day superstitions. Over one-third of Steelers fans surveyed (36%) believe their superstitious activities actually affect the outcome of a game. And down in Houston, Texans fans believe that not doing their Game Day superstitions has resulted in a Texans loss (31%) or the opposing team scoring (28%).

That's a pretty heavy responsibility for a fan to take on. Who wants to be blamed for your favorite team's loss?

When it comes to sports, my superstitious tendencies come naturally, handed down by family not unlike an heirloom that passes through the generations. Though I broke this habit, I used to participate in the “if I turn the game off, my team will stop playing poorly” routine that I learned growing up. But I still possess other idiotic idiosyncrasies.

My worst offense is keeping a mental note of wins and losses tied to certain behaviors. For example, when I attend a Brewers game at Miller Park, the team's won-loss percentage is stellar. I am 10-2 in the last dozen games I have attended in Milwaukee. If I catch the team on a road trip, however, then my results are not so good. Witnessing the Brewers play in Chicago or Minnesota, the team is 0-3. And each loss was particularly painful – one extra-inning walk-off, one huge lead blown, one good old fashioned butt-kicking. Does that mean I will never again venture into another team's stadium to watch the Brewers? Of course not. I'm a sucker for punishment.

When it comes to the Packers, clothing and not location seems to make the difference. I own two Packers jerseys. One is a green John Kuhn that I bought prior to their Super Bowl victory a couple of years ago. This tends to be my “lucky” jersey. When worn, the jersey has only experienced one loss but it was a killer – the playoff debacle versus the 49ers last January. My other jersey is a blue and yellow throwback, an Aaron Rodgers. The blue jersey is now 0-5. Its juju is so bad that I actually removed it during halftime of a game the Packers were losing – and they promptly came back and won. Maybe those Steelers and Texans fans are onto something.

So one might ask (that is, if they believed in such nonsense), why on Earth would I ever wear the Rodgers jersey again? Because now I'm on a mission. The jersey needs to get a win. So I am waiting for a game the Packers simply can't lose to break its unlucky streak. It's too bad we don't play the Jacksonville Jaguars this year.

Not that it would make a difference. Right? Right??