A Tale of Two Cities - And Their Fake Cows

(From the Janesville Messenger, 6-15-08)

Pop quiz: What separates Janesville from Milton?

Some would say the most correct answer is one mile along Highway 26. But I think a better answer is each city’s attitude toward fake cows.

This weekend, Janesville celebrated “Bessie The Cow Day.” Bessie, a 16-foot-tall, one-ton fiberglass cow, was rededicated at her new home next to the Del Taco restaurant on Milton Avenue. The site is near the spot where Bessie stood for over 40 years in the parking lot of the old Oasis restaurant and shops.

Janesville loves Bessie. When it was announced that the Oasis and the Ramada Inn would be leveled to make way for a new Menards store, the first concern on everyone’s mind was, “What will happen to the cow?” The developers, mindful that they owned a local landmark and tourist attraction, decided to have her refurbished during the construction with the intention of returning her to her home after it was completed. This was a major newsworthy event in Janesville because, after all, Bessie The Cow is quite possibly Janesville’s best-known image. There is no shame in this – it is not uncommon in Midwestern dairy country. For instance, if you go to the web site of the Harvard, IL Chamber of Commerce, the first image you will see is their landmark cow statue.

Since Milton is a much smaller community than Janesville, it only follows that Milton’s cow is much smaller, too. She sits on the lawn of the Leuca Guild, a gallery featuring art, tea, jewelry, clothing and a variety of creative and earth-friendly products, events and services. The Leuca Guild is in one of Milton’s historic buildings, the 1867 Goodrich House, the one-time residence of Ezra Goodrich, son of Joseph Goodrich, who fathered both Ezra and the city. The Goodrich House sits across the street from another long-standing building - Milton’s best-known image, the Milton House National Historic Landmark.

While seemingly everyone in Janesville enjoys that city’s fake cow, not everyone in Milton embraced this happy Holstein. One person wrote a letter to the city objecting to the cow’s appearance in the presence of such historic buildings. In a city the size of Milton, all it takes is a letter from one person to shake up City Hall, so the city sprang into action. A meeting of the Historic Preservation Commission was hastily called to discuss the fate of the offending cud-chewer and determine if bovine intervention was necessary.

Why the Historic Preservation Commission? Apparently it was their charge to determine whether having a heifer on the premises udderly defiled the historic nature of the Goodrich House or its neighbor across the street.

The prosecution claimed that cows were not a part of Milton’s history; rather, they were introduced in the mid-20^th century and thus had no place in front of a historic building. OK, I made that up, but it makes about as much sense as any other argument.

Actually, had that been the argument, an interesting counterargument could have been made. Two doors down from the Goodrich House sits the Milton Seventh Day Baptist Church. During a dispute with the church in the 1860’s, Ezra Goodrich claimed that the church sat on his property. In a case of teat-for-tat, he erected a fence around the church and pastured farm animals in the churchyard. So a cow standing in proximity to the Goodrich House may not have been an unusual sight at one time.

At any rate, the Historic Preservation Commission wisely and unanimously (albeit with one abstention) decided that the cow did not have to hoof it to another location. After all, how could you be nasty to a cow – even a fake one – during June Dairy Month?

In Janesville, a celebration. In Milton, a reprieve. Gandhi, a man who considered cows sacred, once said “you can judge a society by the way it treats its animals.” In the wake of this month’s events, Gandhi looks down at Rock County and smiles.

Uninvited Advice to Graduates

(From the Janesville Messenger, 6-1-08)

June is here, and with it, high school graduation. Another crop of young adults are completing their secondary education and are about to spring onto college campuses or into (gulp) “the real world.”

This is an exciting time for these young people. Their whole future is ahead of them. Decisions they make now could potentially impact the rest of their lives.

Unfortunately, not everyone is thrilled to see another group of teenagers move into adulthood. Too often, the news we hear is about the bad kids, not the good ones. People who think the current generation of high schoolers are unsupervised, immoral slackers on the road to Loserville need to look beyond the headlines. The vast majority of teens I run into are very impressive individuals. Seeing these kids in action, whether it’s at events at Milton High School, through Janesville’s DECA programs and Academy of International Studies, or participating in groups like SpotLight on Kids, I have seen enough to give me plenty of high hopes and expectations for these budding contributors to American society.

Graduates, you’ll hear a lot of words at your commencement ceremonies. Please indulge me to add a few more.

At this point in your lives, many of you are brimming with hope and idealistic intentions. Whatever you do, don’t lose that. Don’t let the crud you see on CNN or Fox News get you down. You live in a great country, but yes, it does have its flaws. Yes, you’re inheriting a huge national debt, a war we can’t seem to get out of, and a populace that seems more ideologically divided than ever. We are on one side or the other, and for far too many of us, compromise is out of the question. A lot of folks have given up, believing that true change for the better cannot happen. We’ve been let down too many times, whether it’s by our leaders, by our employers, or by our fellow human beings in general. Too many of us have lost the energy to challenge, to fight for what’s right, to try to make a difference.

And that’s our bad. You deserve better. But now you’re approaching a time when you don’t have to accept the status quo. For you, the future is now. You have the opportunities. In fact, your schools have given you more opportunities than my generation ever had, and many of you have taken advantage of it. Continue to build on that. We need your fresh ideas, your creativity, your energy, your enthusiasm. You can change the world. Honestly, you may need to. Peace and prosperity isn’t just an ideal; it can be a reality. Make it happen.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t want to make it sound like the adult generation is totally out to lunch or doesn’t care. There are a lot of wonderful people out there doing wonderful things. When you meet these people, embrace them, emulate them, follow their example. To steal from the United Way’s current marketing campaign, advocate and volunteer.

This year, you’ll be eligible to vote in your first elections. Whatever you do, vote. Even if you aren’t thrilled with the candidates, vote. Your voice counts. If you don’t like the major party candidates, then vote for a third party. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not a wasted vote; it makes a statement. If you don’t believe me, ask former vice president Al Gore. His inability to convince people to vote for him instead of Ralph Nader in 2000 cost him the presidential election.

If you have already declared yourself a Democrat or Republican, renounce that affiliation immediately. Too many in my generation are blindly allegiant to a political party, and only see things in black and white. When you look at an issue, think of it in terms of “what’s good for the country/state/people,” not “what’s good for the party/lobby/union.” Look at each issue individually, get informed, study both sides, and then make your decision.

Talk shows and blogs are bursting with people who have lots of complaints, but few solutions. Ignore them. Anyone can whine. Use the skills and knowledge you’ve accumulated to offer solutions, build partnerships, create opportunities.

And if you make a mistake, admit it, make amends, and move on. Too few public figures know how to do that. Use the mistake as a learning experience.

All right, I’ve prattled on enough, beginning to sound like an old man on a park bench. So I will end here with one last sound piece of advice from another prattling old man, Polonius, from Shakespeare’s "Hamlet”: This above all: To thine own self be true.