Monday, September 3, 2007

Now I Know How Crash Test Dummies Feel

(From the Janesville Messenger, 9-2-07)


The mid-life crisis is over.

Back in January, I wrote in this column about how I had satisfied the symptoms of my illness by purchasing an Audi A4 Quattro. Today, my beloved car resides in Audi Heaven, surrounded by cherubim and seraphim singing in German.

I write this from the perspective of someone who two days ago sat in his stopped car waiting patiently to turn left into his office parking lot, when another vehicle barreled into him from behind at 55 mph.

When I look at that last paragraph, I still can’t believe that it happened to me. And that I walked away from the wreckage. And that, save for a little bit of stiffness in my neck and a swollen lip, I am feeling no ill effects.

The trunk of my car is gone from the force of the impact. The seat I was sitting in ended up in the back seat. The front passenger side door was the only one that would even partially open to let me out.

Yet I am alive, and amazingly well. And I returned to work today, feeling somewhat guilty that I didn’t yesterday, the day after the accident.

The what-ifs in this scenario are mind-boggling. What if my car had been pushed into oncoming traffic? What if my car had ignited? It is not lost on me that I am an incredibly lucky guy.

The person whose car struck me did not fare as well as I. I know that the Jaws of Life were needed to get her out of her car, and that she needed to be transported via Medflight to a hospital in Madison. That is all I know about this person; I don’t know her name, don’t know how she’s doing, don’t know how to find out. I would like to know that she is doing fine.

Some people think I should be incredibly angry with her for ruining my car. But - and I must admit this surprises me - I am not. I harbor this person absolutely no ill will. She obviously didn’t want to get in an auto accident and win herself a helicopter ride. All I can think of are the times I was distracted behind the wheel, operating a cell phone, getting a CD for the stereo, or even typing an e-mail on my Blackberry. And I think there but for the grace of God go I.

Sometimes I think God sends you a wake-up call, and this one was mine. It woke me up to a lot of things, like attentive driving and the value of seat belts. But most importantly, it gave me something I had been lacking for a while – perspective.

Recently, I had been stressing a lot about different things. And it had been showing. My co-workers had noticed. My friends had noticed. My family had noticed. Now none of the things that were worrying me seem to matter in the least. I walked around today in a near state of giddiness.

I am not shedding tears over my car. Yeah, it was a great car. But cars are replaceable. Material things are just that – things – and you shouldn’t get attached to things. It was a lesson I should have learned when I went to New Orleans last year, helping the residents who lost nearly everything in Hurricane Katrina. But I guess I needed something more personal to make the lesson really sink in.

Amazing how sometimes it takes something so bad to make you feel so good.

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