The Joy of Low Expectations

(From the Janesville Messenger, 5-18-08)

“I expect so little...and boy, do I get it.” - Scott Adams, “Dilbert”

Are low expectations the key to happiness?

Think about it. How many times have you gone to a lightly regarded movie but were pleasantly surprised that it was better than you thought it would be? Or maybe as a student you expected to flunk a test, but were thrilled to come out of it with a passing grade of C.

Some say that low expectations lead to a culture of mediocrity. If you’re talking about your child’s education, for example, that is a valid point.

If you’re talking about your favorite sports team, however, the key to your sanity is to think modestly. Take the Milwaukee Brewers...please.

For a period of about 15 years, the Brewers had been – how do I put this kindly? – a pathetic excuse for a professional baseball team. But at least you knew it, and adjusted your attitude accordingly. When a stiff like Glendon Rusch actually pitched a scoreless inning, it was a wonderful and pleasant surprise. When an automatic out like Henry Blanco managed to stroke a base hit, you were unexpectedly elated. Instead of worrying about the World Series, your hopes were that the Brewers would win as many as they lost. Unfortunately, for 15 years, the team couldn’t even do that.

Now, however, the worm has turned. The Brewers suddenly became a contender in 2007, and even held first place by a commanding margin until a spectacular late season collapse. In the end, they barely escaped with a winning record, their first since 1992.

Watching the Brewers’ big lead fade was painful for their fans. But I contend that the team could have finished with exactly the same record and made their fans ecstatic. How? By starting the season lousy and then putting on a furious and exciting rush at the end. That would have been much more satisfying than the disappointment of seeing a sure postseason appearance – which hasn’t happened in 26 years - slip from their grasp.

So now, fresh off last season’s success, the expectations for the Brewers have changed. You actually watch a game thinking they should win it. Unfortunately, as of this writing, that’s not been happening as often as it should. Even though their record is better than many past Brewers clubs, there have been plenty of disappointments, and it’s led to a widespread outbreak of “angryfanitis.” Mention the name “Eric Gagne,” for example, and your typical Brewer fan will start speaking in a second language – profanity.

But I am pleased to say that I have found a cure. I announced to my son that we were renouncing the Brewers. Instead, we pledged our allegiance to the Washington Nationals, the crummiest baseball team I could think of. The antidote worked immediately. The Nationals, buoyed by our sudden and unexpected support, promptly made us feel great by winning four in a row. And when they went back to losing...well, big deal, they’re supposed to!

With that monkey off our backs, I did a little research to see if others shared my theory on low expectations leading to happiness. And it turns out that it’s not just me that thinks this; it’s the entire country of Denmark.

According to the International Herald Tribune, over the last 30 years, the citizens of Denmark have scored higher than any other Western country on measures of life satisfaction, and scientists have concluded that the country's secret is a culture of low expectations.

"If you're a big guy, you expect to be on the top all the time and you're disappointed when things don't go well," Danish researcher Kaare Christensen said. "But when you're down at the bottom like us, you hang on, you don't expect much, and once in a while you win, and it's that much better."

On surveys, Danes continually report lower expectations for the year to come, compared with most other nations. And "year after year, they are pleasantly surprised to find that not everything is getting more rotten in the state of Denmark," Christensen concludes.

Logically, that leads me to conclude that Danish fans of the Washington Nationals must be the happiest people on earth.