When Mascots Go Bad

(From the Janesville Messenger, 3-15-09)

Later this week, the Wisconsin State Legislature is scheduled to hold a hearing on a bill that would lead to the removal of Indian mascots at public schools. This isn’t the first time that statewide action has been considered.

On a related note, I was recently invited to join an Internet group called “Proud To Be A Milton Redman.” I wanted to write back that I’d rather join the group, “Proud To Have A Life and Have Moved On.”

I am a 1980 graduate of Milton High School, when our team name was indeed the Redmen. If you lived in the north Rock County area a decade ago, you know the trouble and strife that was stirred up when the school board finally made the decision to retire the name and mascot in favor of “Red Hawks.”

Putting aside the debate about racial offensiveness for a moment, let’s first look at aesthetics. Our Redmen logo was nicknamed “Smokin’ Joe,” and he was quite possibly the most hideous mascot in Wisconsin high school history. Smokin’ Joe was a riled-up savage waving a tomahawk, with one angry eye and a disproportionately large nose the size of a three-car garage. Twenty-nine years removed from high school, that’s not something I want to declare to the world that I’m proud of. Not that I’m part of the politically correct set, but sometimes change just makes sense.

At any rate, with the passage of time I thought this was now a non-issue. It certainly is for the current students. But some parents are still honked about losing Smokin’ Joe and his honker.

For those who think “Red Hawks” is for the birds, at least it’s better than Marquette University’s new moniker, the Golden Eagles. What’s unfortunate about that change is that the school probably could have kept their former name, the Warriors, had they replaced their mascot’s headdress and tomahawk with a Roman helmet and a sword. For example, UW-Whitewater kept “Warhawks” and simply changed their mascot from an Indian to a hawk.

Although other area schools have avoided mascot controversies, that doesn’t mean that their team names shouldn’t come under review. While the Milton Red Hawk mascot is big, muscle-bound and tough - a fierce bird designed to strike fear in the hearts of our opponents - nobody shakes in their boots when they see the Whitewater High School Whippets and their cartoonish mascot of a meek little dog. If Whitewater wants to convey toughness, they should use the photo of the battle-scarred mutt on those child-scaring “Report Dogfighting” billboards. Or they could go the opposite direction, change the spelling to “Whip-Its” and have the cheerleaders wear Devo hats.

Now that a real live cougar was actually spotted in Rock County, the team names of both the Janesville Craig Cougars and Clinton Cougars seem to have new credibility. However, the term “cougar” is also slang for older women who go to bars to pick up younger men. Since it’s likely there are considerably more than one of those in Rock County, one wonders if the schools will change their mascot to a sleazily dressed 50-year-old woman with too much rouge.

Speaking of rouge, I’ve never quite been able to figure out the Edgerton “Crimson Tide.” I assume a “crimson tide” is supposed to be a big red wave of water. If you look it up, however, you’ll discover that it’s actually either a huge accumulation of harmful algae, or a vodka and juice cocktail. To me, however, the name conjures up a box of red detergent granules. The Crimson Tide – tough on stains, tough on opponents.

Regardless, I’d rather say my school name stood for clean laundry instead of an offensive caricature. It will be interesting to see if the current legislative bill has legs or not. If it actually does get signed into law, it might finally put the Indian mascot issue to rest in this state once and for all. Whether you agree with it or not, one has to think that there are much more important issues to waste time and effort worrying about.