When Mascots Go Bad

(From the Janesville Messenger, 3-15-09)

Later this week, the Wisconsin State Legislature is scheduled to hold a hearing on a bill that would lead to the removal of Indian mascots at public schools. This isn’t the first time that statewide action has been considered.

On a related note, I was recently invited to join an Internet group called “Proud To Be A Milton Redman.” I wanted to write back that I’d rather join the group, “Proud To Have A Life and Have Moved On.”

I am a 1980 graduate of Milton High School, when our team name was indeed the Redmen. If you lived in the north Rock County area a decade ago, you know the trouble and strife that was stirred up when the school board finally made the decision to retire the name and mascot in favor of “Red Hawks.”

Putting aside the debate about racial offensiveness for a moment, let’s first look at aesthetics. Our Redmen logo was nicknamed “Smokin’ Joe,” and he was quite possibly the most hideous mascot in Wisconsin high school history. Smokin’ Joe was a riled-up savage waving a tomahawk, with one angry eye and a disproportionately large nose the size of a three-car garage. Twenty-nine years removed from high school, that’s not something I want to declare to the world that I’m proud of. Not that I’m part of the politically correct set, but sometimes change just makes sense.

At any rate, with the passage of time I thought this was now a non-issue. It certainly is for the current students. But some parents are still honked about losing Smokin’ Joe and his honker.

For those who think “Red Hawks” is for the birds, at least it’s better than Marquette University’s new moniker, the Golden Eagles. What’s unfortunate about that change is that the school probably could have kept their former name, the Warriors, had they replaced their mascot’s headdress and tomahawk with a Roman helmet and a sword. For example, UW-Whitewater kept “Warhawks” and simply changed their mascot from an Indian to a hawk.

Although other area schools have avoided mascot controversies, that doesn’t mean that their team names shouldn’t come under review. While the Milton Red Hawk mascot is big, muscle-bound and tough - a fierce bird designed to strike fear in the hearts of our opponents - nobody shakes in their boots when they see the Whitewater High School Whippets and their cartoonish mascot of a meek little dog. If Whitewater wants to convey toughness, they should use the photo of the battle-scarred mutt on those child-scaring “Report Dogfighting” billboards. Or they could go the opposite direction, change the spelling to “Whip-Its” and have the cheerleaders wear Devo hats.

Now that a real live cougar was actually spotted in Rock County, the team names of both the Janesville Craig Cougars and Clinton Cougars seem to have new credibility. However, the term “cougar” is also slang for older women who go to bars to pick up younger men. Since it’s likely there are considerably more than one of those in Rock County, one wonders if the schools will change their mascot to a sleazily dressed 50-year-old woman with too much rouge.

Speaking of rouge, I’ve never quite been able to figure out the Edgerton “Crimson Tide.” I assume a “crimson tide” is supposed to be a big red wave of water. If you look it up, however, you’ll discover that it’s actually either a huge accumulation of harmful algae, or a vodka and juice cocktail. To me, however, the name conjures up a box of red detergent granules. The Crimson Tide – tough on stains, tough on opponents.

Regardless, I’d rather say my school name stood for clean laundry instead of an offensive caricature. It will be interesting to see if the current legislative bill has legs or not. If it actually does get signed into law, it might finally put the Indian mascot issue to rest in this state once and for all. Whether you agree with it or not, one has to think that there are much more important issues to waste time and effort worrying about.

Face to Facebook

(From the Janesville Messenger, 3-1-09)


“Jim Lyke is writing his Messenger column.”
- Facebook entry, February 23, 2009, 9:30 pm


Thanks to the latest craze on the Wonderful World Wide Web, anyone who is a member of the web site Facebook now knows exactly what I was doing (or trying to do) at that particular moment in time. And why would I want to inform the world of that? Um...good question.

I became aware of Facebook mainly because my high school-aged daughter spends approximately 27 hours a day on the site. And if you had told me as recently as two months ago that I would be wasting about half of my own waking hours on it, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Facebook is a social-networking website that was launched five years ago by a student at Harvard University. In that relatively short period of time, it has grown into an Internet juggernaut with over 175 million users worldwide.

Initially, the site was only for Harvard students, and then it expanded to include other colleges, and eventually, high schoolers. Now, however, anyone 13 or older with a valid e-mail address can join.

Just recently, I was surprised when several otherwise normal adults started telling me how much they enjoyed Facebook and encouraged me to join. I finally decided to see what all of the fuss was about.

The first order of business on Facebook is to create a profile page, which consists of the usual personal information - where you work, what you like, relationship status, etc. Everyone’s Facebook page has a profile picture, which becomes your personal identifier. Since the only halfway decent photo I have of myself sits at the top of this column – and it’s getting old – I chose a picture of John Belushi smeared with mustard in the “Animal House” toga party scene. It’s a reasonable facsimile of my appearance circa 1980. Beyond your profile, you can post other photos and videos as well.

Once that’s done, the next thing you have to do is find “friends.” You’re nothing on Facebook without friends. You can search for people you know and send them “friend requests.” The site helps you find potential “friends” by suggesting people who were in your high school class, work for your company, or are friends with your friends. Once someone confirms you as a friend, you can write messages to each other, chat online, send them virtual gifts, or just choose to “poke” them. More on that later.

When you log on to Facebook, you are asked, “What are you doing right now?” You fill in the blank, which alerts all of your friends about your status update, and they can then make comments in response. So on February 23, all of my friends knew I was starting to write this column, to which Forward Janesville’s Dan Cunningham responded, “Me, too!” The best status update I have seen so far is the simple but truthful, “Laura is updating her Facebook status.”

This site contains an incredible amount of ways to waste time. Besides messaging your friends, there are games, quizzes, surveys, fan clubs, etc. And whatever you do on the site is posted for all of your friends to see. Personally, I wouldn’t want the world to know that I took an actual Facebook quiz called “How Good Are You In Bed?” Especially since everyone would see the score.

I still haven’t figured out the “poke” thing yet, either. You poke someone. They poke you. The site then tells you that you’ve been poked. You are then offered a virtual cigarette. OK, I made that last part up. But as if that isn’t enough, I’ll sometimes get a message that “Jane Doe Has Been Super Pokin’!” Whatever that means, it just doesn’t sound right.

What’s been most interesting is reconnecting with people I hadn’t seen or heard from in a while. One of my first friend requests was from a high school classmate I hadn’t seen since graduation day. Even so, I honestly thought that I would get bored with Facebook after a week. But it’s strangely addicting.

I think I’ve figured out one reason Facebook is so popular: it’s the ultimate voyeurism. I know what you’re doing every day! I know who all your friends are! I know who’s been poking you! Instead of Facebook, it should be called Openbook, because that’s what your life becomes.

Maybe it’s coincidence, but since I’ve become a Facebook user, it doesn’t seem like my kids are on the site as much as they used to be. Will Facebook be another thing that parents ruin for their kids? That the teens flee from as soon as the adults embrace it?

Hmm...I’ll have to post that thought on my page.

Two For The Show (Choir)

(From the Janesville Messenger, 2-15-09)

January means one thing in the households of many high schoolers.

It’s Show Choir Season.

To the students, it means most Saturdays are spent on the bus to a Midwest high school to perform a show that has been carefully, meticulously choreographed and rehearsed. To the parents, it means most Saturdays are spent driving to said high schools to watch the performance.

I am always amazed when I see the talent the high schoolers demonstrate in these shows. It’s a lot of hard work; I know because I’ve been in musical theater and what these kids do is much more difficult than anything I’ve personally witnessed. The show is about 20 minutes of choral singing, choreographed dance movements, emotive facial expressions and rapid costume changes. I don’t know how these young people do it; when I was that age, I was so dorky and uncoordinated I could barely walk without my oversized feet tripping me up.

Show choir is a relatively recent phenomenon. When I was at Milton High School in the late 1970’s, our first show choir (then called “swing choir”) was formed under the direction of music teacher Bill Schrank. Over 30 years later, Mr. Schrank is still at MHS directing the show choir, and my daughter Corinne now plays trombone in the show choir band.

Every year, I’m amazed at what old hard rock or heavy metal songs make their way into the show choir world. For example, Van Halen’s “Panama” is part of the Janesville Craig Spotlighters show this year. Imagine Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth in 1984, laying this track down in a haze-filled studio and thinking to themselves, “I hope someday this is sung by a show choir.” Though if Van Halen songs are ripe for show choirs now, I’m still guessing that “Hot For Teacher” won’t make the cut.

One of the shows I caught recently was at Monona Grove High School. I only watched one performance other than Milton’s, and while the high school from western Wisconsin that I witnessed had extremely talented kids, its program selections left something to be desired. Actually, from an unintentional humor standpoint, I hit the jackpot. In a classic case of “What Were They Thinking???,” this particular high school pulled off the Show Choir Trifecta of Wretchedness.

1) Their opening song was "MacArthur Park.” As you may know, “MacArthur Park” is often cited as the worst song of the last 50 years, particularly in its overdramatic 1968 Richard Harris version. The lyrical metaphor that gets everyone laughing is the immortal, “Someone left the cake out in the rain/And I don’t think that I can take it/’Cause it took so long to bake it/And I’ll never have that recipe agaaaaaaain!” It was amazingly surreal to see these kids dramatically singing this song with serious looks on their faces. Frankly, teaching this song to teenagers should be considered felony child abuse.

2) They did a stripper number. Well, maybe not a stripper number per se, but a routine where all the guys are ogling a female dancer using suggestive moves that were...not unlike those of a stripper. In fact, the audience member next to me said, "All she needs is a pole.” I felt like I was watching the talent show competition from "Little Miss Sunshine," except with a postpubescent girl.

3) The guy's costumes for the final numbers were hip-hop style - complete with baseball caps cocked to the side and flashing those funky hand motions first popularized by Run-DMC and imitated by every rapper since. Keep in mind that this was a predominantly white teenage show choir from western Wisconsin. If you want to get urban teenagers to change their style of dress, show them this routine. They will run screaming from the auditorium and drive to the nearest K-Mart for a makeover, only to emerge from the store looking like Urkel from “Family Matters.”

Fortunately, shows like that are the exception, not the rule. Although I’m hardly unbiased, I have to say that I think both Milton’s and Craig’s programs are exceptionally strong this year. If you enjoy watching talented young people perform, you would enjoy their shows.

Meanwhile, I’ll continue to work on the walking thing.