How To Pick A Super Bowl Favorite

(From the Janesville Messenger, 2-1-09)

Super Bowl weekend is upon us. And among all the hype about the parties, this year’s commercials or the halftime Bruce Springsteen show, yes, there is a football game stuck in there, too.

Naturally, you want to pick a team to cheer for in the big game, but neither the AFC champion Pittsburgh Steelers nor the NFC champion Arizona Cardinals really evoke any feelings one way or the other. So how to choose?

To help in this life-or-death decision, I’ve identified several factors and given each equal weight in determining the verdict. My final conclusion will be based on my personal analysis; your mileage may vary.

HISTORY FACTOR: The Steelers have had a great deal of success over the last 35 years, winning five Super Bowls, including a victory three years ago over the Seattle Seahawks.
The oldest NFL team, the nomadic Cardinals (Chicago to St. Louis to Phoenix) have been simply awful for most of their history. Their sole championship was in 1947. To put that in perspective, that was 11 presidents ago (Harry Truman), when the NFL championship wasn’t even televised yet. Advantage: Cardinals.

OWNERSHIP FACTOR: Both teams have had family ownership since the 1930’s, the Rooneys in Pittsburgh and the Bidwills with the Cardinals.
In 1988, Bill Bidwill gave St. Louis the old “give me a new stadium or I’ll leave” routine and he left. I can’t stand that. Advantage: Steelers.

UNIFORM FACTOR: Except for the rounded numbers they adopted about a decade ago, the Steelers’ uniforms are the same tough-looking black-and-gold they have worn for years, right down to the Steel logo that has always resided on only one side of their helmets.
Meanwhile, the Cardinals are trying to make the bird on their helmet look fierce. Advantage: Steelers.

MASCOT FACTOR: The Cardinals’ mascot is Big Red, and he is indeed a big red cardinal. The Steelers’ mascot is Steely McBeam, an unshaven steel worker complete with construction helmet, checked work shirt, and bib overalls. In a 2007 Steelers fan poll, Steely’s approval rating was a paltry 10%. Yes, his own fans hate him. Advantage: Cardinals.

HAIR FACTOR: You see a lot of hair flying out the back of the helmets belonging to Arizona’s Larry Fitzgerald and Pittsburgh’s Troy Polamalu. When the helmets are off, though, Polamalu’s mop could conquer the world. Or at least smother it. Advantage: Steelers.

FACIAL FRACTURE FACTOR: Both teams have a star player that suffered major multiple facial fractures. Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s came as the result of a motorcycle accident in 2006. Arizona’s Anquan Boldin got his from a vicious helmet-to-helmet hit during a game in September. Despite needing 7 plates and over 40 screws to fix the fractures, Boldin only missed two games and continued to play at a high level. That’s guts. Advantage: Cardinals.

NO ‘I’ IN TEAM FACTOR: As the rest of his team was celebrating their NFC championship two weeks ago, Boldin was arguing with his coach over playing time and skipping the post-game revelry. Advantage: Steelers.

RODNEY DANGERFIELD FACTOR: It’s hard to find an NFL superstar who has gotten less respect over the years than Kurt Warner. After being cut by the Packers as a rookie, no other NFL team came calling. So Warner stocked groceries and played in the Arena League for a few years before finally getting an opportunity with the St. Louis Rams. All he did was lead the team to two Super Bowls while picking up two Most Valuable Player awards. However, his play declined and the Rams gave up on him a mere two years after the second Super Bowl. The New York Giants dumped him after one season. He then joined the Cardinals, where he was destined to be the backup. But a funny thing happened on the way to the scrap heap. Warner found his zone and played himself back into a starting job. Warner has been spectacular this year, and he’s a nice guy to boot. Advantage: Cardinals.

SWEET REVENGE FACTOR: Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt was a Pittsburgh assistant until 2006. He departed for Arizona after the Steelers passed him over for their head coaching job. Advantage: Cardinals.

CONFERENCE FACTOR: Let’s face it – this is NFC country. Wisconsin is right in the middle of the Black-and-Blue Division, the NFC North. It feels right to back the Packers’ conference in the Super Bowl – except when the Bears, Vikings or Cowboys are involved. Or Terrell Owens. Advantage: Cardinals.

FANTASY FOOTBALL FACTOR: Only one player from either team was on my fantasy league team - Arizona’s Larry Fitzgerald, and he carried me to my first-ever league championship. Advantage: Cardinals.

UNDERDOG FACTOR: As of this writing, the Steelers are a 7-point favorite. Who doesn’t love an underdog? Advantage: Cardinals.

So there it is – I’m a Cardinals fan for a day. If only it were this easy to decide who to vote for on Election Day.