Shoveling The Sidewalk to Nowhere

(From the Milton Courier, 1-29-09)

Editor, the Courier:

As many Milton residents know, I am the proud owner of the infamous “Sidewalk to Nowhere,” a patch of concrete that exists only in front of my house on Columbus Street.
The sidewalk earned its name because it has no connection on either end, not even a clear path on which to continue your stroll. If you continue northward and fight your way through the lilac bush, you’ll find a sloped lawn where navigation on foot is impossible. To the south, you’ll run straight into a fence and a row of hedges.
Its 40 feet of uselessness was magnified several years ago when the city installed a more complete sidewalk on the opposite side of our street along College Green Park.
Because of my sidewalk’s lack of purpose, and mindful of the city’s policy not to enforce the shoveling ordinance except in the case of a complaint, I haven’t bothered to shovel it over the 17 winters I have spent here. Well, except once, several years ago, when someone complained.
But now, I will have to do it a second time, because again, the city received a complaint.
Why would someone do this, especially in a year when the snow has been plentiful? I can only think of three reasons:
1) I have an enemy.
2) I have a friend that is capable of playing a cruel practical joke.
3) I am the victim of someone who doesn’t like shoveling his or her sidewalk and/or is a firm believer in a black-and-white “what’s fair for one is fair for another” policy, even in cases where common sense trumps a one-size-fits-all city ordinance.
I can’t blame the city for enforcing this, because making exceptions to an ordinance is bad precedent. And I suppose I set myself up for this by drawing attention to the sidewalk in a letter to the editor a few years ago.
But a funny thing happened after that letter to the editor appeared. I was absolutely amazed by how many people drove by the sidewalk just to look at it. Some even came over and walked on it just to say that they had. The Sidewalk to Nowhere became a tourist attraction.
And maybe that is the point of the person who called the city to complain. By keeping the sidewalk covered with snow all winter, I am depriving my community of the opportunity to view a valuable asset, a landmark of interest to visitors and residents alike. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I am certain that was the intent of the complainant.
So thank you, fellow citizen. Thank you for opening my eyes to the horrible disservice I was doing to Milton. I have learned my lesson and vow to do a better job of making my tourist attraction accessible to all, at least until December 2009.